Pageant Minute: Miss Universe 2011--Preliminary Evening Gowns Trend Alert: Transparency

See-Thru Miss Universe

Continuing on my "Miss Universe 211 Preliminary Competition" Gown Review...While looking at all the photos, and viewing the video--I quickly noticed a Trend. One of Transparent/see-through gowns that had sequined embroidery/applique' to cover the "important areas". There were LOTS of these. Some worked and some, not so much...

Let's take a look:

Miss Venezuela Universe 2011 Vanessa Goncalves: Miss Venezuela is always a favorite and top contender for the crown. Need I remind you, there were TWO Miss Venezuela's--back to back, who won the Miss Universe crown not so long ago. Vanessa wore a different gown for the very important Preliminaries. Designed by the go-to-guy for Miss Venezuela Gowns--the "new Angel Sanchez"--Gionni Straccia, it was a one-shoulder fit-to-flare gown in a sheer organza base with gold, silver and turquoise embroidered sequin applique'. It's A LOT of gown and very heavy with the embroidery. I like it in terms of its statement-making effect. She looks like a South American Cleopatra. If there was any "critique", it might be the hair: She's a hot minute away from looking a little too "Real Housewives of Atlanta" Kim Zolciak.

Miss USA 1996 Ali Landry (in Nick Verreos/NIKOLAKI gown)with host (and former beau) Mario Lopez

It also reminded me a bit of the gown I designed and created back in 1996 for the-then Miss USA Ali Landry, when she was giving up her crown. It was VERY CONTROVERSIAL then, in that I heard the producers--and the official Wardrobe Designer, did not want her to wear it because it was too risque'. But she did anyway! (At-a-Girl!).

Miss Colombia Universe 2011 Catalina Robayo: Catalina gets my "You Go Girl!" points for just going there and wearing this orange chiffon "gown" with an attached sequined see-through JUMPSUIT. Yes, I said jumpsuit! I always say, if you're going to do something, do it 110% never do it 95%. And boy, did she ever follow my advice. I can almost hear the gasp from the Preliminary Judges when she came out. I'm sure a couple of them were like "Oh, uh, ummm, OK!! Well, that's a Gown!!!!...And a beaded jumpsuit!" In terms of the "Nick Verreos Drag Queen Scale": A TEN!!!! Incidentally, it's very similar to...

This ocean-blue gown above that Miss Thailand Universe 2011 Chanyasorn Sakornchan wore for her "Official Evening Gown Portrait" (above photo). It must be by the same "designer"/brand. Same beaded legging/jumpsuit "base" but different silhouette in terms of the chiffon "over" gown.

Speaking of Miss Thailand: She changed and wore a different gown also featuring that trend of see-though/embroidered applique'. It was another one of those gowns I would put under the category of "A LOT of Dress". It's very "Showgirl" and two minutes away from looking like a gown you would see the Hostess of a Cruise Ship Cabaret Theater, wear. Those silver platforms did not help. I look at that photo and I think "Am I back in 1992??"

Miss Switzerland Universe 2011 Kerstin Cook: Kerstin's gown is a prime example of the "Transparent/Embroidered" Trend. In case you didn't know, Switzerland has a long history of making the laces and embroidery for a lot of the Haute Couture Fashion Houses--especially in the town of St. Gallen---so it makes sense for her to "represent". But somehow, this gown doesn't work, at least for me. She's so pretty, and the gown takes away from that.

Miss Dominican Republic Universe 2011 Dalia Fernandez: This is a different gown from the one she wore for the website's "Official Evening Gown Portraits". It's a coral chiffon gown with very heavy beaded details on the torso. It's a little "Nuestra Belleza"--and not in a good way. Also, she looks as if she rubbed up against the coral reefs of Australia and ended up with this gown.

Miss Australia Universe 2011 Scherri-lee Biggs: She's a BEAUTIFUL girl! Total "commercial" material. But this gown: It's a strapless gray-ivory organza gown with embroidered sequin applique', transparent from the thigh down. She could have done better; a simple clean colored silk crepe strapless gown with no "bells and whistles" would have sufficed. This one just makes her look as if she's a Trophy Presenter at the World Music Awards in Monaco. She needs to look as if SHE IS GETTING THE AWARD!!!

Miss Philippines Universe 2011 Shamcey Supsup: Shamcey also followed on this transparency-with-sequins trend. But in her case, she did it right! She doesn't look trashy or like a back-up singer in a Sonny and Cher Show (like some of the previous girls). I like the subtlety of the sheerness and the fact that her hair-and-make up don't take away from it. In terms of the "Miss Universe Drama" scale, it's pretty low, but that could be a bonus for her.

*Up Next: The "Hot Messes" of the Miss Universe 2011 Preliminary Evening Gown Competition!!!

Stay tuned...

Pageant Minute: Miss Universe 2011--Preliminary Competition EVENING GOWNS: The Best!!

My Favorites of The Universe:

Well kids, it's down to the "Pageant Wire"!! Miss Universe 2011 Final Telecast is TOMORROW Monday September 12th, LIVE from São Paulo on NBC/Telemundo Networks. Last Thursday, September 8th were the very important Preliminary Competition--Swimsuit and Evening Gowns--where a "separate panel of judges" evaluated the 89 beauties from all over the world to cast their votes on who would end up as the Top 14 Finalists on Monday night. Well, for me here, never mind the swimsuit portion...it's ALL ABOUT THE EVENING GOWNS!!! Some contestants wore the same gowns they wore for their "Official Evening Gown Portraits" but most wore a different gown. Let's see which ladies--and their gowns--made my Top Picks.

Ready, Set...Here are my Miss Universe 2011 Best:

Miss Ghana Universe 2011 Erica Nego: Simply sublime!!! With so many out-of-control transparent HOOCHIE-Mommas (in a later post, I promise!!), so many sequined-overly poufed, overly embroidered & overly EVERYTHING gowns, when I saw this photo of Miss Ghana, I FINALLY breathed a Fashionista Sigh of "Now We're Talking!". It's Red Carpet material, elegant, entrance-making. The clean, modern hair and make-up just add to its overall gorgeous effect. This girl can go from the Miss Universe Preliminaries to presenting an award at the Emmy's in a hot minute--and still get in the "The Best on the Red Carpet" section the following day. Score: 10!

Miss Mexico Universe 2011 Karin Ontiveros: Karin changed her gown for the Preliminaries and it was WAAAY for the Better! From the top of her head to the last 1/4 inch of her pumps: Excelente! The light mauve/plum coloring is elegant, love the asymmetry of the neckline. It is draped beautifully on her and I also like that the sequins were kept to a minimum. She looks like a Queen--as well as a top Mexico City actress who should have LOTS of bodyguards around her! Score: 9.8

Miss USA 2011 Alyssa Campanella: I am sure that this gown choice has been a "controversial" one out there in the "Pageant Fan Bloggersphere". It doesn't conform to any of those tacky over-the-top dresses that Missosologists (pageant followers) are used to. Where's the Slit? Nowhere. Where's the too-much applique'/sequins? Nowhere. Why aren't her boobies showing? Because she knows better! What many people don't realize lots of times, is that the judges--both Preliminary and Final Telecast--ARE NOT from the Pageant World and more from the Entertainment, Stylist, Designer, Manager/Agent world. And these people don't want to see tacky "Toddlers & Tiara's" gowns, they want to see an appropriate Red Carpet Stunner. And Alyssa's choice is that. It's very Marchesa-meets-McQueen Spartan Princess with its styling/silhouette and Sari-inspired embroidered gold trim. Score: 9.7

Miss Malaysia Universe 2011 Deborah Henry: Wow! Deborah might be the "Surprise of the Night", in that no one really payed attention to her before but after last Thursday's Preliminary Competition, she was on a lot of people's minds! For her evening gown, she chose a non-fussy elegant blue chiffon gown that made HER be the Star--as opposed to you only noticing her gown. It's simple, sexy and fits her perfectly. The icing on the cake was that she semi-slicked her hair back. It only made her look even more regal and up-to-date. PS: She has got some GAMS on her!!! Score: 9.7

Miss Puerto Rico Universe 2011 Viviana Ortiz: There were A LOT of these semi-see-through "transparent" gowns with embroidery and/or sequins covering the "important parts". I will follow this post with my "Photo Gallery" of those gowns...but for now, this one, was one of the best. I love the white color, the fit is AMAZING, and I can tell the beading and applique' work is EXPENSIVE!!! Notice the length kids! Do you see any shoes? Nope. thank you! Someone taught this girl just right! Score: 9.7


Miss Paraguay Universe 2011 Alba Riquelme: For the Preliminaries, Alba wore this Vanilla yellow tulle and satin strapless gown with metallic paillettes. It's an original design that stands out--and for good reason. The combination of tulle, satin AND metallic sequins could have turned out on the "Oh No You Didn't" section. But lucky for her--and her designer--it did not. She looks fabulous! I only wish the front was about 6 inches longer! What happened there? Score: 9.5

Miss Curacao Universe 2011 Eva Van Putten: Thank goodness Miss Eva changed her gown from what she wore on the Website's "Official Evening Gown Portraits". This strapless gold gown is a show-stopper for sure!!! It's designed by Venezuelan designer Lixidio Solarte and features a princess-seamed "Mermaid-Lite" shape in gold mini paillettes that gradate into oversized ones. I'm sure it's a HEAVY and LOUD gown but who cares?? I think she is "working it!" as my gays would say! Score: 9.4

Miss Ecuador Universe 2011 Claudia Schiess: Claudia also chose a gown by a Venezuelan designer, this time, it was Gionni Straccia--famous for outfitting all the Miss Venezuela Winners and several of the most recent Miss Universos from that country. The fuchsia color is gorgeous, the cut and asymmetrical silhouette of the gown is VERY "Beauty Pageant Gown 101" but...the way this designer picks his fabrics (silk crepe); his crystals (hand-beaded Swarovski) as opposed to cheap diamantes; the intricate draping and ruching, it takes it to a whole other level. Score: 9.4

Miss Albania Universe 2011 Xhesika Berberi: First of all---LOVE her name! She should have been a Figure Skater with that one! In terms of her gown: Perfectly Pretty. This chiffon lavender Empire-style gown features a ruched bust and a matching lavender crystal neckline detail. Elegant and very "I'm the classy girlfriend of an Eastern European Multi-Millionaire", and she's at a party in Monte-Carlo with him in this gown!!! Score: 9.4

Miss Ukraine Universe 2011 Olesia Stefanko: 23 year-old Olesia wore the SAME white chiffon gown she wore to her "Official Evening Gown Portraits".

She made my "Top Favorite" List then, and she makes it into my Top Favorites NOW!!! This gown is very Grecian-Goddess featuring a gold sequin Empire-waist and neckline trim. She seems to love "working" those multi-layers of chiffon and does it with the ease of a top runway model. It's a simple gown really, again, only emphasizing just how gorgeous she is. One of the Best in the white gown group. Score: 9.3.

Honorable Best-in-Gown Mentions:

Miss Angola Universe 2011 Leila Lopes: Loved her gown in the "Official Evening Gown Portraits"--same gown here (good call Leila!). Best in gold. There's "a lot" in this gown: The feathers, the gold embroidery, the sequins, the slit...but it adds up to be one of the Best, in my book!!!

Miss Aruba Universe 2011 Gillain Berry: Strapless, silver, metallic, no too-high slit, correct length, well-fitting, great hair (get rid of that cheesy bracelet though!)

* Up Next: The See-Through/Transparent Gown Ladies...

Pageant Minute: Miss Universe 2011--The HOT MESSES of the "Evening Gown Portraits" !!

Mija...Tacky Black Pumps, Mother-of-the-Bride Hairdo's, Slits up to the Cha-Cha, Dominatrix Stiletto Platforms...The Miss Universe 2011 Official Evening Gown Portrait No-No's:

A Wrist/Cuff Train Holder??? Uh...NO!!! See where this lovely "HOT MESS" ended up on my "Put That Dress Back on The Rack" List...

As you may know--from keeping up with my nickverreos.com blog here--I am in "Pageant Mode", since the Miss Universe 2011 competition is coming up in a few weeks, and the much-anticipated "Evening Gown Portraits" were released over the weekend on the Miss Universe website. In my last two posts, I began with my "Best" from those photos and the gowns the international ladies chose. But of course, now I must discuss THE HOT MESSES as much as I don't like to do it. As a Fashion Designer who's expertise is in designing evening gowns and red carpet dresses, I do it more to help, and "style-advise" my lovely beauty pageant gals as to what they shouldn't be sportin' in the evening category. Now, remember these may or may not be the gowns these lovely women wear in the Final Telecast (for their sake, I HOPE NOT!!!) but still, I must discuss...



Here's my "Put That Gown Back On The Rack" List:



Miss Mexico Universe 2011 Karin Ontiveros: There's A LOT riding on Karin. Last year's Miss Universe, Ximena Navarette is from Mexico and did EVERYTHING right in 2010--including choosing the right gown. I'm not sure if Karin chose correctly here. It's just a bit "off". A two-piece purple strapless peplum'ed bustier with over-sized flower detail--and a gold lame skirt. If she were hosting a minor award show in Mexico City that her abuelita would be attending: Maybe. But not for the Miss Universe Pageant. Her hair and make-up look great though--very Selena Gomez.



Miss India Universe 2011 Vasuki Sunkavalli: I expect a lot from those stunning--and very stylist Miss India's. However, at least for the choice of this gown and styling: Not so much-ey. It looks like a gown I would have designed and made TEN years ago (I think I actually did!) But what bothers me most are the BIG BLACK PUMPS! Whyyyyyyy? It makes no sense. Didn't she bring some metallic strappy heels (EVERY pageant girls needs to have at least THREE pairs!) or nude ones. The whole look wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for those BLACK PUMPS!



Miss Finland Universe 2011 Pia Pakarinen: OK, she's just GORGEOUS. Doll-like. She'll be in the Top 15 just for that beautiful face! Leave it to those Scandinavians to produce beauties like her! Something about the fish, the vodka and the cold weather I guess. But I am not a fan of her gown choice here. It's very "Bridesmaid", especially the light pastel color. And, what is up with THAT 4 inches too short length?



Miss Hungary Universe 2011 Betta Lipcsei: Well, basically all I have to say is that's just a whole lot of tiered ruffles! Is she a background player at a Budapest performance of "Bizet's Carmen"? It's very "Cha-Cha" and I do LOVE Cha-Cha, but not for this. I say try again and maybe with not so many tiers of ruffles--a "Mermaid"-style gown skirt would have been better.



Miss Georgia Universe 2011 Eka Gurtskaia: Look at what we've got here--It's a MINI...No, wait, it's long. No, it's a Mini. No wait, It's BOTH: A Mini dress with a fitted chiffon long skirt overlay...with a silver metallic bodice midriff. Here's the thing: It's WRONG and a little trashy. If it would have been lined all the way to the floor (as opposed to a mini way too close to her nether-regions) it actually could have been nice.



Miss Brazil Universe 2011 Priscilla Machado: A lot is also riding on Priscilla. She's the "home-country" girl. The Miss Universe Pageant is--after all--taking place in Brazil! I am disappointed in this gown choice. It's the kind of pageant dress that ends up on the Sale Rack at a local Prom/Bridal Boutique! And, why did she allow herself to get a big poufy 54-year-old Housewife Hair-DON'T? Here's a suggestion Priscilla: Go to Miss Venezuela or Miss Puerto Rico's Hotel Room and closets, take one of their gowns...and you'll be "good as new"! They'll never know the gowns are missing.



Miss Montenegro Universe 2011 Nikolina Loncar: OK, I LOVE her first name--NIKOLINA!! But this dress!!! Please tell me her ruched poly chiffon one-shoulder dress does NOT have a Cuff Train Holder? Those three words: Cuff, Train, Holder...I NEVER wanna see together again. And on her feet: The black pumps that DON'T MATCH at all! Chinese Laundry (Miss Universe Shoe Sponsor): We need some silver/metallic strappy heels ASAP!



Miss Belgium Universe 2011 Justine De Jonckheere: Oh huney, there are TOO many things going on with this dress: It's a one-shoulder..but then it's not; then there's a Blouson sleeve for no apparent reason; then straps connecting the midriff-waist; a high side slit. It's a little "Belly-Dancer"-ish. To finish it all off, she adds (because she feels it's sooooo necessary!) a tacky necklace, a cuff, PLUS the bouffant hair. She's such a cute girl. Why? Strip her of EVERYTHING and put her in a simple strapless sequined column gown. Done and done!



Miss Guatemala Universe 2011 Alejandra Barillas: But, I will save the Best "Hot Mess" for last. This is A LOT of Gown: The Football Quarterback-sized sequined shoulder caplet (I know that Strong Shoulders are "In" but this is taking it to a WHOLE other level!), the high slit (of course), PLUS the too-long train (for no reason) and then (Drum Roll!!), THOSE Stiletto Platform Dominatrix pumps!? Here's a positive: This ensemble would be FABULOSO on a Drag Queen for "Joan Crawford Meets Joan Collins Night" at a bar in West Hollywood. Remove the Over-sized Shoulder-Padded Caplet, cut 20 inches off that train and get her some peep-toe nude pumps (with NO PLATFORM!) and she'll be "back in the game"!



*Next Up: The Strippers Of The Universe!!!!! Yes, kids, What Miss Universe 2011 Contestants decided they would be Strippers for their Evening Gown Portraits? Find out in the next post!

Pageant Minute: Miss Universe 2011--The Best from "Evening Gown Portraits"!

Are You Guys Ready? Well, Here Are My Gown "Top Ten" Faves...

Miss Puerto Rico Universe 2011 Viviana Ortiz: Where will she end up on my "Top 10 Best" List??

The 60th Annual Miss Universe 2011 Pageant is well under way in São Paulo Brazil--site of this year's pageant. All the 89 contestants have already arrived from all over the world to begin all their "checking-in", fittings, events, touring and photo shoots--as well as the upcoming Preliminaries. The Final telecast will be shown LIVE on NBC and Telemundo Monday September 12th. The Miss Universe website has just put up photos of the contestants including the much-anticipated (at least for me!) "Evening Gown Portraits". Some girls bring their own gowns from back home for this and some are able to chose from a "rack" of dresses the Miss Universe Wardrobe Dept. has for them, of course, from the "Official Fashion Sponsor", Sherri Hill...



Now, these are NOT necessarily the actual FINAL Gowns they will wear on the FINAL night (A LOT, reserve a "very special" gown for that!). But still, it gives a good indication of their "taste level" and well, how "Gown-Savvy" and "Not-So-Gown-Savvy" these women are. So, even though these ARE NOT NECESSARILY the Final Gowns they will wear on the Telecast, I still have to give my "Nick Beauty Pageant Gown Two Cents"...



In ascending order from 10 to 1, here are my Top Ten:



No. 10: Miss Kosovo Universe 2011 Aferdita Dreshaj--Aferdita squeaks into my "Top Ten Gown Faves" in this canary yellow halter-style taffeta satin gown. The color is impacting. The silhouette and style fits her very well and reminds me of a 1950's "Hollywood Starlet". I do realize that it is a little bit "Miss Teen USA" and well, kind of "Disney Princess", but this girl is so stunning, that it works. The only thing that DOESN'T work is that BOUFFANT hair of hers. Someone should be FIRED for that!



No. 9: Miss China Universe 2011 Luo Zilin--This bubblegum pink is a popular color for pageant dresses this season and it looks amazing on Miss China Universe. She's OVER 6 feet tall, and I'm just happy the gown is still the correct length and not ending up above her ankles. Also, she gets EXTRA "Nick V." points for the peep-toe nude/blush-colored pumps, especially when you see the STRIPPER heels some of my "Not-so-Faves" wore (in an upcoming post!). I'm also happy the slit isn't up to her you-know-what.



No. 8: Miss Vietnam Universe 2011 Hoang My Vu--This strappy animal print chiffon gown that Hoang My Vu is wearing here is very Cavalli runway and on-trend with what's going on in evening gowns. Therefore, she gets high marks from me. It fits beautifully and stands out--in a good way--in a sea of solid bright colored satins. Bring on the prints! As long as they're delicate ones.



No. 7: Miss Slovak Republic Universe 2011 Dagmar Kolesarova--I really like this pretty blush colored satin and chiffon gown with crystal strap detail on the exotic and strong-featured Dagmar. It softens her. I also love the straight-on pose (SOOOO many girls did these odd and awkward side-to-back poses which were NOT cute!). The big pouf in the front of her head is a bit 1994 and Prom-y, but I will forgive her for that! (again, can we fire the hair people!!??).



No. 6: Miss Angola Universe 2011 Leila Lopes--Wow. Period. There were lots of these silver or creme/nude-colored gowns in this year's "Miss Universe 2011 Website Evening Gown Portraits" but this is one of the strongest for me. It has drama, gorgeous sequin and feathered detail; it's elegant and Red Carpet-ready! Not a fan of the "Beyoncé Armpit" pose, but other than that: An "A" for Angola!



No. 5: Miss Switzerland Universe 2011 Kerstin Cook--One of the most beautiful girls in this year's pageant (and there are A LOT!!), this 5'11", 22 year old is DESTINED to be one of Donald Trump's "Trump Model Management' girls! (if the Miss Universe crown proves elusive to her). The red color is a stand-out choice for Kerstin. The draped chiffon bust style is fabulous and "Grecian-Goddess"-like. I also love the just-the-right-amount of sequined straps, to give it that touch of "Pageant Elegance". P.S.: She looks very "Taylor Swift" in this gown.



4: Miss St. Lucia Universe 2011 Joy-Ann Biscette--You. Go. Girl! This is one of those gowns that I am sure "Pageant People" will be all "a-twitter" about and either be on the "Love It" or "Hate It". I LOVE IT!!! The bubblegum pink (there it is again!) is GA-GA-Gorgeous on her and I give her MAJAH points for choosing such a "Haute Couture Runway"-like directional style. Therefore, she makes my Top Four!!! Not so sure about those scalloped edges of her peplum (should have been straight just like the top section), but other than that: You Go Girl Miss St. Lucia!



No. 3: Miss Venezuela Universe 2011 Vanessa Goncalves--One of my favorites in this color-group of gowns (there were lots!). This is a perfect Red Carpet-worthy gown that one could see at the Oscars, Emmys, etc. Things I Love: The delicate crystals throughout the dress, the interesting godet, cascading organza pieces from the thigh down, the shoulder twisted-knot detail. Also, there's no HOOCHIE slit ANYWHERE and the Mermaid-shape fits her impeccably. There's delicacy and grandeur in this gown: Muy Bien Vanessa! My Almost-Almost Favorite!



No. 2: Miss Puerto Rico Universe 2011 Viviana Ortiz--Yes kids, Viviana Ortiz and her gown make it to the No. TWO spot on my "Evening Gown Portrait" Best Countdown!! The shape, color, fabrication: All of it is absolute perfection! All she needs is the crown. It also looks expensive and almost custom. I would be surprised if it was not from one of those top Puerto Rican or Venezuelan-based designers who are so much in demand these days. This is NOT a $499 gown from a store kids (or at least it shouldn't be!). Even her styling and hair were just right: No over-accessorizing and no BIG Bouffant "Real Housewives of New Jersey" hair. Bellisima!



No. 1: Miss USA 2011 Alyssa Campanella--But my Favorite of these Miss Universe 2011 Evening Gown Portraits was definitely Miss USA. First, let's begin with the fact that she is STUNNING! OK, now that we got that out of the way, we can discuss her gown choice. Very now, very "Red Carpet", and very "Runway Model" and NOTHING, ZERO, NADA Pageantry about it!! No cheap diamantes, no too-high slits (thank you Alyssa!). I love the golden lame look of the fabrication, the diagonally pleated bust and side details as well as the "Mermaid-Lite" shape. In one word: Sublime.



*Next Up: My "Miss Universe 2011 Evening Gown Portrait" Favorites from what I call the "Pageant Safe" Gold-and-Ivory toned gowns.

Miss USA 2011 Evening Gown Portrait Photos: The "Miss Messes" And Why...

Too-High Slits, Stripper Heels, Cruella De Vil Hair, Gay Pride Parade Drag Queens and Anchor Tattoos??? Seriously...It's The Miss USA 2011 Evening Gown Portraits!!!!!

Well, kids, it's Beauty Pageant Time once again! And I, for one, am THRILLED! The Miss USA 2011 Pageant will air on June 19th (PM (EST) LIVE from Planet Hollywood Resort & Casino in Las Vegas Nevada. The 51 contestants have already arrived from all over the country to have their fittings, begin rehearsals, photo-ops and get generally ready for the Final Night. As always, the Miss USA website puts up photos of the contestants in their Swimsuits and Evening Gowns--the "Evening Gown Portraits". Now, these are NOT necessarily the actual FINAL Gowns they will wear on the FINAL night (A LOT, reserve a "very special" gown for that!). But still, it does give a good indication of their "taste level" and well, how "Gown-Savvy" and "Not-So-Gown-Savvy" these women are. So, even though these ARE NOT NECESSARILY the Final Gowns they will wear on the Telecast if they make it to the Top, I still have to give my "Nick Beauty Pageant Gown Two Cents"...

We will begin with "The Miss Messes":

Miss Maine USA: Bless her heart! Miss Maine USA Ashley Lynn-Marble. One question: WHY oh WHY, the Cruella De Vil Hair?? I mean, really. Also, she's so pretty (and only 27 years old) but with this "Mother-of-the-Bride" halter-style sequin-embroidered gown--plus that hair and make-up--she looks like a 42 year old "Real Housewife of Orange County"! And she HAD to add the earrings AND the TWO--not just ONE--crystal bracelet/cuffs. Overkill darlin'
Miss Massachusetts USA: The lovely Alida D'Angona, Miss Massachusetts USA, took the whole "I-Love-Me-A-Slit" thing to an ENTIRE new level! And by that, she actually TOOK her slit to a NEW LEVEL: To the Empire Waist!! Check that out in the above photo. It wasn't enough that the SLIT already goes up to her nether-regions but then, the designer--or her--decide "Nope, let's just take that slit up to my Under-Bust". At least they added a sheer-and-sequined panel to add a little more "Klass". Yes, with a Capital "K". Part of me feels like I would LOVE to have many a Di Saronno "on the rocks" with her!

Miss Delaware USA: Oh HUNEY. At a brief first glance of this photo, I actually thought Katie Hanson, Miss Delaware USA was holding up her dress and her boobie area (sorry for the Kindergarten-speak). But then, I realized, nope, she's just caressing her hair. Um...OK. But let's discuss the gown: Baby Blue, Strapless, Sequins, Shirring, Chiffon, AND FEATHERS!!! Wow. Why do I feel like she's about to take it all off and do a Dita Von Teese "Feathered Fan Dance"? Also, Ladies, Strapless gowns are NOT made for BIG BREASTED ladies. Why do you wear them? When you do, the above happens, it begins to slip down and looks far too low on the torso area. Lesson No. 56: A Strapless gown should really begin about 1"- 1 1/2" below the armpit area (at the side) NOT THREE inches (Note to Miss Massachusetts also).

Miss Arizona USA: Well Well Well. Look what we've got here on Miss Arizona USA Brittany Dawn Brannon. Correct me if I'm wrong but is her TRAIN longer than the one on the former Kate Middleton-now-Catherine Duchess of Cambridge's wedding gown??? There is NO REASON for a gown like this to have a "Cathedral Train". None. There is FAR too much polyester charmeuse up in there. All I wanna do is get some Chardonnay, Artisanal Cheeses, sit down and set up a picnic on top of it!

Miss Michigan USA: One Word: Grrrrrr!!!! The UBER gorgeous (and one of my current faves-just look at that face!) Channing Pierce is not doing herself any favors by wearing this animal-print lingerie-inspired dress to her "Miss USA Evening Gown Portrait". It's very Cavalli-meets-Trashy Lingerie. The one good thing is that at least she kept the hair and make-up soft and not over-done. At least she still looked 24, not 44 (like some of the other lovely contestants).

Miss Rhode Island USA: Kate McCaughey's gown is very "Pageant 101", I've seen this one too many times in Downtown LA at those Pageant-Prom-Quinceañera shops. Nothing against it, "Safe Pageant" you might say. But what I do have a hoot-and-holler time with is...(Look up above, yes at her feet!) Is she showing us her ANCHOR TATTOO??? And why? At first I looked down there because of those over-the-top sequin strappy platforms, but then I was distracted--by THE TATTOO!! Oh Huney. Let me guess, she either:
A) loves sailing
B) her father is a Captain of a boat
C) Her boyfriend is a Marine or
D) Someone went on a Cruise to Cabo and this is what happened.
Either way, not "Miss USA Evening Gown Portrait" appropriate. Save this for your audition at "Scores".

Miss Nevada USA: I've saved the BEST "Miss Mess" for last. And the Winner is...Miss Nevada USA, Sarah Chapman!! Let's just begin with the fact that, just from looking at this photo, I think I would have a GREAT time hanging out with her! She looks so SASSY! In addition, who in their right mind would wear a MESS of a Dress like this one above? She must be crazy-fun. But still, this looks like my fellow Season 2 Project Runway contestant Santino Rice's dress for the Figure Skating Challenge!! It also reminds me of something a Drag Queen would wear atop a Gay Pride Parade float as well! And because of this, she gets my "Miss Mess of The Week" Nick Award.

I Love Me some Pageants..and Pageant Gowns...
Stay Tuned for my "Miss Best Gowns"...