Miss World 2011 Evening Gowns: The Costumed "Native Couture" Girls!

The Miss World Evening Gown National Costume Parade of Nations...

If you've been reading my recent posts in this blog, I've been "reviewing" the evening dresses featured in last week's "Miss World Top Model World Designer" fashion show presentation. The Miss World Finals are this Sunday and this was one of the "Fast Track" Competitions. Now, I must discuss the "Costumed" ladies of this fashion show presentation. These are the contestants who wore dresses that were a little bit "costume-y" either in its fabrication or style, "Native Couture", I like to call it. There are some fabulous creations here--as well as some "Oh No Huney!" dresses...you be the judge:

Let's begin with...

Miss Cote d'Ivoire 2011 Kohiman Kouadio: There's so many things going on in this dress: A) All those colors. B) The prints. C) The varying shapes happening--not only is there a mermaid silhouette, then there are bell-shapes to the sleeves. If there was a prize for how many design elements one can put in a dress, she would WIN! Love that smile! She's saying "You know you love my Crazee Couture!"...en francais, of course.

Miss Tanzania 2011 Salha Israel: Another one of my "Native Couture" ladies is Miss Tanzania. Now, this is what I call ORIGINAL. Miss Salha has no shame featuring this ensemble--and doing it with the aplomb of a model in a Jean Paul Gaultier Haute Couture Paris runway show!

Is it a bit "costume'y"? yes. But is it still HOT? In a CRAZY-Hot sort of way. The multi-colored beaded crochet netting, her headdress, those STACKED heels of hers. She looks likes she went out to catch some fish, then through on the netting as a dress and some heels and decided to go to a party afterward.

Miss United States Virgin Islands 2011 Esonica Veira: This Caribbean lovely went with a resort-inspired brightly printed halter-style dress that evokes a little bit of the flora-and-fauna of her islands. I like the colors, but not so sure it's THAT much of a statement-making dress. One can find this style--and even that type of print, in any Resort Boutique. She really should have gone all out and added an over-the-top Carnival-like feathered headdress to go with it.

Miss Indonesia World 2011 Astrid Elena: Speaking of feathers...How 'bout that hairstyle accessory? Don't know what it has to do with Indonesia but I'm all for it: loving the three red feathers and loving the red high-necked gown. The beaded applique is stunning and yes, it looks quite expensive. This look combines the theatricality of a costume with the three-feather accessory but, take those away, and it's a great red carpet-worthy gown.

Miss Botswana World 2011 Karabo Sampson: Yes, darling, we get it, Bostwana is in the continent of Africa. Therefore she went with a gold-and-black zebra printed strapless gown with some contrast gold metallic lamé at the bottom and a spotted animal print as well--thrown in for good "Safari" measure. It's A LOT of animal print. And somehow all I can think is that some 70's Pimp is missing his gold-and-black zebra printed RUG!

Miss Kenya 2011 Susan Anyango: Another African beauty, Susan Anyango of Kenya, also went the "Native Couture" route with this bright coral-and-black gown featuring slashed panels, godets, ruffles on the neckline and hem as well as printed applique. It's a little "Halloween-y" and "First Semester Fashion School Student" project. Again, ladies, LESS can be MORE! Oh, and I can never say this enough: stay away from the flammable POLY SATIN!

Miss Japan World 2011 Midori Tanaka: Love this Kimono-inspired creation. This is a perfect way to mesh both the "Evening Gown" and "World Designer/Native" elements. I absolutely LOVE that Kimono silk fabrication: stunning. I'm just not sure how the other gold fabrication goes with it.

Miss Barbados 2011 Taisha Carrington: Taisha went the "Avant Garde" route for her "World Designer" pick. She ends up in my "Costume-y" section because well, it's a bit on the "She's on a FLOAT at Carnival AND going to some fancy party at the Coral Reef Club in Saint James"...in the same NIGHT! I love the turquoise color and high-neck design and I actually don't mind those stiff princess-seam panels on the skirt. I wish the fitted shape would have continued as opposed to the full gathered satin bottom.

Miss Macedonia FYRO 2011 Vesma Jakimovska: What, in the name of the Fashion Gods, is this? The fully-sequined silver and black gown, the KRAZEE twisted details at the torso, shoulder and on the "arm band". AN ARM BAND!!!! And then, that's not enough: she finishes with a mini fascinator top hat! She's either going to a Gay Pride Parade in her country, or she's one of the singers at Eurovision. She gets points for even keeping a straight face through it all.

Miss Turkey World 2011 Gizem Karaca: Finally in my "Native Couture/Costume" section, I present to you Miss Turkey. First of all, I think the gown is fantastic! It looks expensive, well made and the gold-and-silver beading is OUTRAGEOUS. It's very ON-Trend with that all the top designers--from NY to Paris--are showing. And by just adding the gold trim as a headband accessory she goes into "I'm an Ottoman Empire Princess" territory. Simply Fab!

Miss World 2011 Evening Gowns: The "Uh Oh's" & HOOCHIES!

Bad...or Hoochie Bad???

Miss Mongolia World 2011: Where do you think she will end up on my "Uh Oh!" List? Is she just Bad, or is she Hoochie Bad? Read on to find out...

Continuing with my "Review" of the World Designer Evening Dresses that the Miss World 2011 contestants chose--or were chosen for them by their (sometimes) misguided pageant directors...In my last post, I discussed my "Best" list, so now, let's talk about the ladies who should have known better...I have a feeling those judges might have been quietly going "What was she thinking?" I would have. And please, lovely nations of these beautiful ladies: take no offense, I'm not critiquing the country just the choice of tacky dresses...

Miss Costa Rica World 2011 Paola Chaverri: Oh huney. What 1987 Prom--in San Jose Costa Rica-- did you think you were going to? Mi amor. Querida Paola. There is no need for so many wired ruffles. She's gorgeous and statuesque (almost 6 foot!), and would have looked amazing in a LONG column gown with her hair slicked back in a classic elegant chignon. One good Style Note: the taupe/nude peep-toe heels are great!

Miss Belize World 2011 Kadejah Tunn: God bless her! Miss Tunn is all 5'4" and she's tryin' amongst her fellow 6 foot competitors. She wants to be noticed. But in this dress, she'll be noticed for the wrong reasons. First of all, did some animal get to the side of her gown and take CHUNKS off her side? Just sayin'. And then it's like a cha-cha drag queen from the hips down! Now, I love me a Cha Cha Drag Queen (it's my alter ego!), but that may not be your best muse for the Miss World 2011 "Top Model/World Designer Fashion Show. And does the last cut out have a black mesh inset?! Yikes!

Miss Austria 2011 Julia Hofer: No, no and NO! Please tell me this is not considered "evening gown red carpet material" in the lovely nation of Austria. I can find that in Santee Alley in Downtown LA. And those pick-up ruffles say Tacky Quinceañera in ANY language. She's so pretty , why oh why would she wear this?

Miss Montenegro World 2011 Maja Maras: Let's start with the positive: it reminds me of a Rodarte dress--the draped gathered silhouette and unique embellishment. Now the not-so-good: The askew gathered draping and unusual embellishment! Is that aluminum foil twisted and knotted? Or Xmas garlands? It so did not need that. Without it, the dress would have been ten minutes away from being called "Grecian Goddess". Here, she's far from it.

Miss Aruba World 2011 Gillain Berry: Part of me wants to grab Gillain, hold her and take her back into my NIKOLAKI studio and give her the dress she should be wearing (something about that oh-so-pretty face makes me want to befriend her). This white (flammable poly satin, I'm sure!) gown is A LOT: it is straight out of some 1980's "Dynasty" episode (or more like "The Colby's"). I wish I had been there at the "Miss World 2011 Top Model/World Designer" fashion show/presentation: I would have gotten my scissors and started cutting those ruffles away!

Miss Cyprus World 2011 Orthodoxia Panagi: First of all: love her name--Orthodoxia!!! But, I do not love her gown so much. We all know the first rule of making dresses for women: DO NOT HIGHLIGHT, or make it look, as if she's got HUGE hips! This white poly (how do I know?, look at those rippling badly sewn seams) satin taffeta dress is just wrong. From the KRAZEE ruffled top to the side exposure to the cowl hip draped detail...This is a clear case of a designer who thought they were being "edgy" and told their client "just wear it!". Next time, say NO!

The Hoochie Girls:

Miss Gibraltar 2011 Michelle Petersen: Two years ago, Miss Gibraltar won the Miss World title so of course, people are thinking, could another lovely woman from the famous British overseas territory do it again. Maybe, but not in this gown. Let me get to the positive: She's beautiful and the gown fabrication--all-over gold metallic sequins--is quite fabulous. But then, why-oh-why does she have to expose SO much? The SISTAHS are all out for everyone to see and if that's not enough, there's the ultra-high side slit. One or the other. Not both.

Miss Lebanon World 2011 Yara Khoury-Mikhael: HUUUNEEEYYY! Speaking of showing a lot, I present to you Miss Lebanon. First off, once again: I LOVE the heavy gold beaded fabrication. But then, the rest of the gown is this sheer iridescent nude! It is exposing parts of her that I am embarrassed to see. First of all: is that her white SPANX panty under there? If not, then what is it, mini shorty-shorts? I don't get it. Why white, why not just gold? Why is the gown from the waist down not lined? So many questions...and I just don't have the time. If I was judging, I would have moved on.

Miss Norway World 2011 Anna Zahl: Somehow Miss Norway's Designer wanted to make a statement with this dress. The statement was: I am going to TAO in Las Vegas and will try--even if I am waiting in line for THREE HOURS--to get in! How is this long-sleeved mini dress (that ANYONE can get in mall anywhere in the world) so special and worthy of a "World Fashion Designer Award"? I think Anna was sabotaged. Plain and simple. Now get back in line at TAO!

Miss Mongolia 2011 Buyankhishig Unurbayar: Finally, yes, Miss Mongolia ends up in my "Hoochie" section for this concoction of a gown. It's not necessarily the gown but that oh-so-plunging neckline. Seriously, I can't even focus on the rest of the dress when THOSE things are so propped up and on full display; it's like "Here they are! Y'all want them?" How do you say that in Mongolian? Oh, here's a positive: I LOVE that sequined Disco headband!! So Olivia Newton-John "Let's Get Physical"!

* Next Up: The Miss World Evening Gown "Costumed" Ladies...

Pageant Minute: "Miss Venezuela 2011" Evening Gowns-The Not Fab, Not Bad, just "Eh" List!

The "Middle Girls"...Not Fab, Not Bad, just "In the Middle"

Coochie Coochie: Miss Apure Jeserly Gutierrez (Photo Courtesy of bellezavenezolana.net)

This past weekend--as we know--was the "Miss Venezuela 2011" Pageant. The winner was the gorgeous Irene Esser (above), who represented the State of Sucre and wore a very nice silver metallic gown with shoulder-and-torso covering paillettes. Everyone agreed she looked perfect. In my last post, I gave my "Top 5 Plus Honorable Mentions" for my favorites of the evening gowns. I have to say that for this year's edition, there were A LOT of great gowns. There really weren't any big gown "missteps" or "Ayyy Dios Mio!" (I kind of wish there were!, but kudos to the designers). If this was a Project Runway Challenge, there would be no "OUT", but just "These ended up in the MIDDLE" for reasons like too-high of a slit or wrong dress on the wrong girl. So...here are my "Middle Gown Bellezas" Awards.

The HOOCHIE Award goes to:

Miss Apure Jeserly Gutierrez: Jerserly's gown, designed by Venezuelan designer Valentina Cedeño, was a simple white silk crepe halter gown, which at first glance: I liked. It looked modern and not encumbered by all the usual "tricks and bells" Miss Venezuela gowns have been known for. But then she began to walk and OOOPS: THAT Slit! If anyone was seated slightly below the stage, they might have seen her Britney. Gracias a Dios the judges were in seats way above the stage so they didn't get to see any of that. And not only did she have that WAY too-high slit, but someone felt that she also need a way-too-low neckline as well. It's either one or the other, but both?

Real Housewife of Orange County meet the Mother of The Bride...(Photo Courtesy of bellezavenezolana.net)

The Mother-of-the-Bride Award Goes To:

Photo Courtesy of bellezavenezolana.net

Miss Falcon Haydee Castillo: This gown, created by Venezuelan designer Luis Perdomo, was probably the biggest miss of the night--if one had to pick. It was a halter-style silk charmeuse dress featuring laser-cut petals in the skirt section. The halter section fit was odd and the overall style lacked youth and modernity. It was better suited for a Mother-of-the-Bride, not a young gorgeous beauty pageant contestant. It was just a little bit off.

Real Housewives of Orange County Award Goes To:

Photo Courtesy of bellezavenezolana.net

Miss Distrito Capital Gabrila Ferrari: Gabriella almost won the Miss Venezuela title. She came in second and won the Miss Venezuela World crown. Her gown--designed by go-to-pageant designer Gionni Straccia--was a show-stopper for sure, with its all-over sequins. But somehow, she looked like one of the "Real Housewives of Orange County" dressed up for the night. I don't think it was the gown's fault but more the fault of how she was "showing it".

Photo Courtesy of bellezavenezolana.net

Gabriela kept putting her leg out to show the audience and judges how high that slit was and it cheapened the dress. I bet if this was on a dark-haired exotic girl (with a slick-back chignon), it would have looked TOTALLY different. Plus those Pink sequined pumps were a NO!

The Come-Hither Award Goes To:

Photo Courtesy of bellezavenezolana.net

Miss Monagas Rossana Medina: When Rossana walked on stage during the evening gown portion and the show's host announced that "her gown was designed by Angel Sanchez..." It promptly got my attention. I LOVE Angel Sanchez' dresses and admire his work and how he transformed the Miss Venezuela gowns in the late 90's/early 2000's into more refined elegant red carpet visions. I was surprised by this gown because it wasn't one of his architectural silk gazar stunners. I did, however, like the column one-shoulder style and the sublime white silk crepe fabrication.

Photo Courtesy of bellezavenezolana.net

It had asymmetrical silver crystal inset beading and yes, it also had a very revealing side slit. I think it was again, the way the contestant was showing the dress which cheapened it.

Photo Courtesy of bellezavenezolana.net

There was no elegance to it. She kept turning to show her derriere and at the same time, gave come-hither "I will take your man away" looks. No. No. And No. Not in an Angel Sanchez gown huney!

The Bad Bust Fit Award Goes To:

Photo Courtesy of bellezavenezolana.net

Miss Bolivar Fanny Ottati (what a fun name!): Fanny has some big SISTAHS, so she decides (or maybe the pageant organizers incorrectly decided) to wear a strapless gown. Strapless, kids, work best on girls with little boobies, thank you very much. Otherwise, it looks wrong. And guess what happened here? Si, WRONG!

The white sequin-and-beaded gown, designed by Manuel Gonzalez wasn't bad, it was just the bad boobie fit. Notice how the cups stand out leaving all this empty space. Also, it's too "pushed up", totally cutting her torso and making her look as if her breasts are almost touching her chin! Ayyy pobrecita.

Too Covered Up Award Goes To:

Miss Yaracuy Osmariel Villalobos: Osmariel came in fourth and won the title of Miss Venezuela Earth to go on to represent her country in the Miss Earth beauty pageant (yes, kids, there's a Miss Earth!). She was one of my favorites of the night because she wasn't your typical "Pageant Betty": no fake boobies, no big bouffant 80's Joan Collins/Dynasty hair. For her evening gown portion, she wore a Nidal Nouaihed-designed gown that featured hundreds if not thousands of mirror crystals and sequins. It won a trophy for one of the "Best Gowns/Best Designers" of the night.

Venezuelan Couturier Guy Meliet with client Barbara Palacios Teyde, Miss Venezuela and then Miss Universe 1986

The gown was an homage to Paris-born Venezuelan Couturier Guy Meliet. He designed Haute Couture creations beginning in the 1960's and into the oil-boom 80's. His clients ranged from all the rich Caracas Society "Country Club" doyennes, to a lot of Miss Venezuela's and Miss Universe winners, such as Barbara Palacios Teyde, Miss Universe 1986. Guy Meliet used a lot of unusual fabrications for his one-of-kind creations, including actual mirrors and therefore the Nouaihed gown payed tribute to this.

Mirrored Meliet: Miss Tachira 1988 Nancy Elena Garcia Amor, a Finalist in the Miss Venezuela 1988 pageant, in an Guy Meliet creation entirely made of triangle-cut mirrors on top of a silk organza base

The Nouaihed Gown on Miss Yaracuy, Osmariel Villalobos

I thought it was a VERY impacting gown but not sure it was right for the 5'7" Osmariel. It was open in the back but I felt maybe it was (dare I say it!) too covered up in the front--the high neck, the long sleeves. I think the biggest problem was not the gown but the hairstyle. If she had worn it up, in a beautiful chignon or even a slicked back ponytail I would have appreciated the beauty of the gown much more.

So, there you go. No real "Bad Miss Venezuela 2011 Gowns" just mistakes made by the contestants, the stylists or a too-high slit here and there. Overall: A Good Gown Show for Pageant Fans and Venezuelan Fashion Designers.

Can't wait to see what each of the top girls ends up wearing for the BIG pageants, Miss Universe, Miss World, and so on!

Pageant Minute: Miss Venezuela Evening Gowns--The "Nick V. Top Five" List!

Which One Of The Girls Below Made My "Top Gowns" List" (Hint: Only TWO!!)...

Will Nick Like My Gown: The Miss Venezuela 2011 Top 5 Finalists

This past Saturday was the 59th Annual "Miss Venezuela" pageant, arguably--next to Miss Universe and Miss World--the MOST IMPORTANT Beauty Pageant in the WOOOOORLD!! Why? Well, just because of the fact that Venezuela has won so many international beauty pageant titles, as well as the fact that "pageant watchers" always look to who wins the Miss Venezuela as a barometer of "She's the One To Beat!" when it comes to going on to international pageants--think Superbowl or the World Cup.

Gown Girls: Miss Venezuela 2011 contestants, during the Evening Gown portion (photo courtesy of bellezavenezolana.net)

A lot of people also watch the pageant for its evening gowns. I have....since I was a little boy. So, now that I am a big boy...it's time to RATE the "Miss Venezuela 2011 Evening Gowns". Now, let me begin with the fact that I was very happily surprised that besides the entire telecast--the gowns (overall) were "toned down" --well, for Miss Venezuela standards. Lately, they have been looking cheap, over-the-top Drag-Queen-y and rather out-of-touch with the 21st Century and what one sees on the actual Red Carpet. But this year, either the Cisneros Group cracked down on the "Gown Budget" or someone closely involved with the evening gown selection has been looking at my past "Miss" evening gown blogs. Before I give you my "Mejor (Best) of the Bunch". Saturday night's pageant actually gave Prizes for "Best 'Miss Venezuela 2011' Venezuelan Designers/Best Gowns". Three of them.

The Top Prizes went to:

Miss Anzoategui Evening Gown, Designer Douglas Tapia

Miss Sucre/Miss Venezuela 2011 Evening Gown, Designer Gionni Straccia...and

Miss Yaracuy Evening Gown, Designer Nidal Nouaihed

Here's a big shocker: I did not agree with these Top 3. I know, the next time I visit the country I was raised in, I might risk having Arepas being thrown at me. Now, I thought those three were "OK" but here are my Top Picks for Best Gowns of "Miss Venezuela 2011"...if I was giving out those prizes:

Photo courtesy of bellezavenezolana.net

Number 1--Miss Guarico Blanca Aljibes: Her off-white silk crepe gown was designed by Venezuelan Gionni Straccia and she gets my Nick V. TOP Choice for Best Gown. The minute she walked onstage, I was like "OK, Get it GIRL!".

It was simple, elegant, no "Pageant Betty" HOOCHIE SLIT up to you-know-where. I also loved the structured shoulder/front torso panels. Loved the sequined waist trim as well. I admit, I am not so much a fan of the "covered-but-not-covered" nude/illusion neckline panel and yes, we can still see THE SISTAHS/cleavage (good job Official Miss Venezuela Plastic Surgeon, by the way!) But...other than this: A very chic, modern gown. Score: 9.9

Photo courtesy of bellezavenezolana.net

Number 2--Miss Merida Yasmeira Gutierrez: Sunning! It was a strapless silver-and-gold sequined silk organza gown from Venezuelan designer Gionni Straccia (yes, once again of course!). In case you haven't been keeping up with the latest Spring 2012 Collections from NY, Milan and Paris, it is ALL about all over sequined gowns. But done right. And Straccia did it right: it's still modern, fresh and wow, so NOT pageant-y (Gracias for not adding the too-high slit). This gown could work at the Oscars, Emmys, Cannes. Or Miss Universe. Score: 9.8

Photo courtesy of bellezavenezolana.net

Number 3--Miss Nueva Esparta Maria Quinones: Guess who designed this gown--my Third Choice for "Best Miss Venezuela 2011" gown? Yep, Gionni Straccia, again. He's on a roll. At least with me. I really liked this gown. First, it was very modern and directional--for "Miss Venezuela" standards. And it fits her very well...

It featured red laser-cut applique', shoulder cap sleeve detail and had a very Alexander McQueen and/or Riccardo Tisci for Givenchy-look to it. Again, I am not a fan of the illusion-covered front section (how about making it not so plunging and not adding that?) and I felt like it could have been longer and more dramatic at the bottom. But, overall, it was a FAB gown! Score: 9.7

Number 4--Miss Sucre Irene Esser: Yes, the new Miss Venezuela made my list. Gionni Straccia also designed her gown, and won a trophy for it. It was a metallic gown with degrade' sequin embellishments, long sleeves and a see-through plunging neckline. It was a very impacting gown, but not my Top Favorite. I loved how the hand-applied crystals and paillettes were placed--especially on the neckline and shoulders. I just had a BIG problem with Irene's over-arching-her-back posing. Score: 9.5

Photo courtesy of bellezavenezolana.net

Number 5--Miss Tachira Milagro Manrique: Douglas Tapia designed this stunning deep red silk ziberline mermaid-shaped gown. It was PERFECTION. The twisted pleated at the bust was great, the one-shoulder crystal strap, the fit: well done. Of course, I also love it because it actually reminds me of...

One of my NIKOLAKI Spring 2011 Gowns (above)--in the same fabrication but different color.

Honorable Mentions for Best Gowns:

Photo courtesy of bellezavenezolana.net

Miss Vargas Sara Coello: Venezuelan Pageant go-to guy Gionni Straccia designed this violet-colored strapless gown for Sara. It featured laser-cut metalized leather applique' at the torso down to the thigh area and then flared out. I thought it was futuristic, very sleek , Milan runway-ready, and a departure from those "Gay Pride Float" gowns we were used to seeing in the past Miss Venezuela pageants. I also liked it because...

It was very Versace Fall 2010.

Photo courtesy of bellezavenezolana.net

Miss Miranda Mariel Zamora: Mariel wore one of my favorite gowns of the night and therefore I had to give her an "Honorable Mention" here. The turquoise silk ziberline gown featured a one-shoulder strap detail, side exaggerated cascade drapes and sequin crystals throughout.

Photo courtesy of bellezavenezolana.net

It was created by the Barcelona Spain-based Pro Novias and it was part of its Haute Couture line. Yes, it was a bit "over-the-top" but at the same time, it had the perfect amount of DRAMA and Alta Moda touch to it, that it brought back some of the nostalgia of the "Miss Venezuela" 1980's Evening Gown heyday.

Photo courtesy of bellezavenezolana.net

Miss Barinas Astrid Lozada: Gionni Straccia also designed this baby-blue silk chiffon one-shoulder gown. It was sexy and "Beauty Pageant" perfect enough for me to give it an "Honorable Mention". It had a ruched/gathered torso, gathered flowing skirt and was accented with oversized silver sequined trim detail. It had a high side slit but somehow (because of the fullness of the skirt) managed not to look like she was trying to, well, get PREGNANT!

Photo courtesy of bellezavenezolana.net

This gown above is a quintessential Gionni Straccia-type gown which EVERY Pageant Girl--worth her Sash wants, and many Pageant-and-Prom "Knock-Off" companies are copying. And this is why it deserved, a "Nick V. Honorable Mention" in the "Best of the Miss Venezuela 2011" Category.

And now, to my REAL Best Dressed of "Miss Venezuela 2011":

Leonardo Villalobos (above and below) co-host of the Miss Venezuela 2011 Pageant. Venezuelan TV presenter/host for Venevision, Leonardo Villalobos looked absolutely DASHING on Saturday night's telecast. His tuxedo was sleek; the roll of his shawl collar--and how it always invisibly blended into the line of the shoulder of this jacket--was so beautiful. That. My Kids. Is. Perfect Tailoring.

Photo courtesy of bellezavenezolana.net

I have no idea who designed and created his tuxedo but...KUDOS. Seriously, Leonardo was better dressed than some of the Misses in contention. Just sayin. Dios Mio!

OK, now that I am done with my "Miss Venezuela 2011" Best Gowns...next up: The "Ayyy Mija" (Oh Dear! What Were You Thinking?)...Here's a Peek:

Miss Apure: Is that my COUTURE COOOCHIE?????